Note: this page has been updated. When first published, the ‘sales are a good alibi for cheating’ press release hadn’t come through. Upon receipt, Emily Z Davis felt it was too classic to be ignored, and added it later
So today I received these press releases from Illicit Encounters, who claim to be the UK’s leading married dating website (who knew that existed? Am I being naive here?!).
Anyway, they made me laugh, because they’re like a parody of so many of the classic press releases us journos receive every day, in that they are just totally desperate to promote a product at the expense of all morals and sense. I mean, who else turns the ‘most adulterous day of the year’ into a celebration? Who advertises the festive sales as ‘the perfect cover for meeting a new lover’?!
You really have to read them to see how full of crap they are, so I’ve published the releases one after the other in all their repugnant glory for you here.
“Sales Shopping Is Proving Perfect Cover For Meeting A New Lover”
A new survey conducted by the UK’s leading extra marital affairs website IllicitEncounters.com has found that sales shopping is being used as the perfect excuse to cover up meeting with a new fling.
Over 65% of the female members questioned in the survey said they were planning to slip-off to do some sales shopping as an excuses to get away from home, and spend some quality time with their secret squeeze.
It seems it’s not only women who are taking advantage of this as it appears that sales shopping makes the perfect opportunity to get some time away, with the survey revealing that 58% of men plan to use the sales as cover for meeting their mistress.
This year’s sales are expected to be the busiest shopping days of the year and high streets and shopping centers make the perfect location for a first secret date. There are countless coffee shops and bars to meet your new lover and the crowds make the perfect cover for secret liaisons.
Illicit Encounters spokesperson Mike Taylor commented: “Sale shopping looks like it could be the perfect alibi for meeting with your secret tryst, it is a fantastically convenient excuse for some time apart from your partner. The need for this break from your partner is heightened during the stress of the Christmas period, which culminates in the New Year as January 5th has become widely regarded as the busiest day for people to start looking for an affair.”
The site has seen a huge uplift in new members joining over the festive period after being featured in lots of magazines in the run up to December and January. The site has also seen a boost in its female members after releasing a 2015 calendar of affair-seeking male members of the site in various states of undress.
The calendar is available to view / buy at http://www.calandarcheats.com
“Monday the 5th of January is the BIGGEST day of the year for affairs!”
Following on from news that Friday the 2nd of January is dubbed ‘Divorce Day’ by the legal community, the UK’s leading married dating website, IllicitEncounters.com, has revealed that Monday 5th January, is the most adulterous day of the year.
When most of the British public goes back to work after a busy and stressful Christmas it makes for the most likely time that UK married couples would embark on an affair.
Statistics show that January is the time most married people either think about embarking on an affair – or splitting from their partner completely, making it Britain’s bleakest month of the year for marriages.
This follows research conducted that shows that 1-3 married people think they may have married the wrong person or for the wrong reason.
Christmas and New Year is a week of family lockdown when there is no excuse for avoiding family time this leads to people seeking extra-marital relationships, which rises significantly after the majority of the British public go back to work.
Spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com Mike Taylor explains: “Christmas and New Year are times when couples spend an intense period of time with each other and their families. This can be quite claustrophobic and sometimes leads to a ‘cabin fever’ situation where both parties feel irritated with each other and underlying problems are exasperated. The 5th of January is typically one of the first days back to work and back to freedom and spouses take this opportunity to explore all the things they couldn’t under the watchful eye of their partner.”
IllicitEncounters.com sees on average a 30 per cent higher levels of activity during the winter months compared with the rest of the year, and this year to attract more female members Illicit Encounters has even released a 2015 calendar to showcase some of its eligible non-bachelors.
Based on previous years, IllicitEncounters.com is expected to see a sharp rise in the number of members joining the site. It is expected that there will be over One Million active UK members, approximately six per cent of the UK’s married population registered on the website by the end of winter.
This year the surge started even earlier with the pressure being too much for some couples, even by Boxing Day as Illicit Encounters reported it’s highest ever boxing day activity on the site showing it doesn’t take long during the festive period for the cracks to appear.